So, our early experiences of the world through our parents and carers will have long-lasting impacts on the future of our lives.

The latter are behaviours that seek to provide some form of emotional self-regulation for the affected individual by numbing out emotional traumas and scars that may have developed during childhood or adolescence. These are just some examples, and others include more drastic learnt behaviours such as emotionally ‘shutting down’, thrill-seeking behaviours or drug and alcohol abuse. Divorce, deaths and house moves usually come high up in the stressors that bring out early learnt behaviour patterns, be they disregarding others, consistently blaming loved ones, or not allowing partners to be part of life-changing decision-making processes.

For many, the chance to reflect, think about and work towards change comes about when there is a major life change that takes place. The client and therapist working relationship therefore sets the foundation stone for trust and healing in the future. However, change is always possible, though this needs consistent work through counselling, care and the empathy of a trained counsellor who can develop a strong therapeutic relationship with their client.

Childhood experiences shape who we are